Belch’s Beer MLB Power Rankings 20-11

So I gave you the first few teams in the last review and it was pretty tough picking ten horrible beers that are made for the ten horrible teams. Alas, after a little bit of research and a lot a bit of drinking, i managed to narrow it down. Now that I’m a tad hungover I’ll need to do some more drinking to get the next 10 teams down. It’s a tough job people but I’m willing to do it for you, I’ll be your beer guide. I’m about to take you on a journey through sports and beer, so put on your comfy pants and enjoy.

20. Kansas City Royals: Beehive

It’s tough to think that these Royals were the ones I thought were a college team growing up. It’s also quite unbelievable to think that these new Royals finished 4th in the league last year in batting average, with their biggest contributors playing at a high level, under the age of 30. However the plague of the Royals seems to be the pitching; since losing Grenke to the Brewers the Royals haven’t been able to quite perform on the mound. They beat only three teams out for ERA, and only a few more for strikeouts. This team is young and exciting but need to improve on the mound if they are going to compete.

Bristol Brewing Company was established in 1992, a fairly new beer. With a great selection, so many beers are worth taking a look at. Beehive Wheat would be the best, in my opinion, to describe the Royals. It’s light body makes it easily drinkable, perfect for the kind of ball game Kansas City fans are used to watching (maybe some hits and absolutely no pitching). Even just the concept of a wheat beer seems to fit Kansas as all I can think exists in Kansas is wheat.

19. Colorado Rockies: SandLot

With two of the best players in the game, you’d think the Rockies might finish higher on my list. Tulowitzki and Gonzalez could be all-stars every year they play, the problem for the Rockies might be the entire rest of the team. The Rockies struggle with answers at most other position, even with a few free agent signings. Center field, right field, catcher, and most of the entire pitching staff are all very young, very promising prospects. From Charlie Blackmon to Rex Brothers, the Rockies are stacked with MLB almost-ready young players. In two years this team might be very scary.

The perfect brewery for the Rockies would have to be SandLot Brewery out of Colorado. Now after a little research I found out that there is a brewpub located inside Coors Field, and Coors itself is a sponsor of sorts. SandLot Brewery runs independently, and though I’m not familiar with the beers they brew, SandLot is the Rockies’ beer to a “T”. As a young brewpub, they are forced to take chances with new beers, just as the Rockies are forced to take a lot of chances with their young roster.

18. Miami Marlins: La Noche Del Diablo

Two tequila sunrises into this portion of the article and i can’t decide if the Marlins are too low or too high on the list, but something tells me by the end of the season they won’t be ranked 18. Looking at the other teams involved it makes perfect sense, but the new Marlins are tough to read. With the addition of Reyes, the batting order is stacked. And with pitching being solid, this team could be a division winner. the biggest question involved is that of off the field distractions. Ozzie Guillen, Carlos Zambrano, and Hanley Ramirez all inspire some doubts. Can they work together? Will they gel on and off the field?

Black Fox Brewery makes a delicious porter with a subtle chili spice, it’s called La Noche Del Diablo, and it’s interesting. Plenty heavy porter, it finishes a tad spicy, but even considered confusing to the tongue. Now a heavy porter might not be the logical choice considering the weather in Miami, but the spice involved makes it exactly the choice for this team. The balance between the spice and smoky tastes mimic the balance of on and off-field distractions for the Marlins.

17. San Francisco Giants: Anchor Steam

The Giants have perhaps one of the best rotations in the bigs, second to maybe the Phillies. With Big Time Timmy Jim, aka Tim Lincecum, and a great other four starters, there will be no toying with the mound. Their real problem last season came from the offense. Buster Posey will be back in the lineup, filling a big hole, but other than Pablo Sandoval that’s about it. Beltran didn’t get resigned and Ross left to the Red Sox, leaving a pretty lame offensive power. However pitching alone can keep you in games, and this could prove extremely helpful if the bats can wake up.

I’d make Rice-a-Roni the official treat here, but it’s not a beer. However Anchor Steam, a hybrid beer brewed in California, is. The brew carries a thick, creamy head, a medium amber color and the flavor of a lightly hopped ale. The lager yeasts are brewed at warmer ale temperatures, producing steam. The Giants need to mix their pitching with a little production at the plate to be successful this year, and unless they can do that they’ll remain ranked 17th, or lower.

16. Cleveland Indians: Fat Tire

Just like the Cubs, this team is all around a boring team. Though unlike the Cubs, this team is all around good, not all around awful. With a good mix of youth and veterans, this team is stacked for success, with the unfortunate problem with being in the same division as the Tigers. If a few key members of the team can stay healthy, this team has an outside chance of winning the division. Good pitching (Ubaldo Jimenez), good batting (Grady Sizemore, when healthy), and good fielding (Asdrubal Cabrera). They just need to make them work all together.

Here in Colorado, we are home to 8 of the 50 most popular breweries in America. Colorado is kinda the mecca of beer. So excuse me for using another Colorado beer when i feel that Fat Tire by New Belgium is the Indians. A very medium and balanced beer, Fat Tire is even in all ways. It’s very smooth with a taste of nut, and I will now dub it the taste of Cleveland. The mediocrity of the beer’s taste reminds you of the type of team you might see on the field this year.


15. Los Angeles Dodgers: Budweiser

Gosh looking at the Dodgers, what don’t they have? Clayton Kershaw is a Cy Young winner that could repeat, while Matt Kemp almost reached a 40-40 mark in 2011. Solid all over the field, the problem with the Dodgers becomes the financial aspect of the game. Now with new ownership including Irving “MAGIC” Johnson, the outlook looks a little better, though it will still be extremely interesting what the future of this young franchise holds.

What is the young beer looking to fail? Is there a beer in existence in as much financial turmoil as the Dodgers? I’m not sure there is one or it might have failed by now, but if there was one I could see doing so, it would be Budweiser, kinda. Metansky Brewery in the Czech. Republic was one of the first beers imported under the Budweiser name and now faces closure, and if I can think of one brewery that deserves to stay open, it’s Budweiser. I might not be the biggest fan of some of their brews, but as baseball would miss horribly the loss of the Dodgers, beer would be devastated without Budweiser.

14. Toronto Blue Jays: La Fin du Monde

Being that a friend of mine is a huge Jays’ fan (MAC), I’ll be trying to take it easy in this review. I’m scared of the Jays. I’m terrified of their potential, and even though they play in the AL East (poor bastards), I still giggle when I see them. The Jays are a very interesting team for many reasons. First and foremost the operate like the aren’t owned by a multi-billion dollar group. They also pretend they don’t have one of the best farm systems in the MLB, as they continue to ship off players to save room for lord knows what kind of salary cap issues. Like the Dolphins, the Jays give Mac a reason to drink, and drink he does.

What I didn’t talk about was the teams ability to win games at the plate. The team has worked on its relief pitching, improving immensely. Unibroue Brewery won five “Best Beer” awards in the Americas and won best blonde with La Fin du Monde (the end of the world). A very interesting name choice considering the beers delicious, full bodied taste. Much being the case as the Blue Jays act as a very low market team in one of the largest, full bodied markets in the game. The Jays are on the verge of topping the Rays for a potential Wild Card win, they just need to take one more step in a very tough division.

13. Cincinnati Reds: Woodchuck

It’s hard to believe that the Reds beat out many of the teams on this list. Heck Seattle seems to have a few prospects that might top Cincinnati, but in the end the Reds are just a superior team. So good are the Reds that with a vacant closer position, and maybe a tad more production from their 4th and 5th starters, this team could win it all. All factors considered with fielding and pitching, this Reds team is one of the scariest teams at the plate IN THE LEAGUE. Joey Votto, on an off year, batted over .300 again, and had plenty of support. With so many free agents, the Reds stayed relatively quite, but with some luck we could see them in the World Series.

Fellas, I’m sorry but I’m going with Woodchuck for this one. Woodchuck, in case you don’t know, is one of the more popular ciders in the world. As it might be a little sweet for my taste, real cider fans have everything they’ve ever dreamed of here in a nice, crisp, light cider. So why the Reds? First off the Reds are a complete team, maybe a little LIGHT on media coverage, and amazingly CRISP on the field. The one missing piece on the field being pitching for the Reds, Woodchuck might just be missing a shot of Captain Morgan. Seriously try it with a shot of Captain or two… it’s delicious.

12. Washington Nationals: Sam Adams Utopias

Watch out America, the Nationals are winning a World Series with Stephen Strasburg at some point in his career. Is it this year? I don’t think so, but they still pose a threat. Gio Gonzalez joins “S Squared” (just made that up) this season, making the Nat’s a very strong pitching rotation worth fearing. Bryce Harper and Jayson Werth might prove to be huge parts of the lineup, and this team is so young, it’s only up for them from here. They’ll continue to take steps in the right direction with draft picks and free agent signings, this team is destined for greatness.

I can talk all day about all of the young teams in the league (obviously), but what’s good about this team in particular is its ability to be hard hitting. At the plate and on the mound this team is built to be explosive, and so is Sam Adams Utopias. Built more like some kind of brandy, Sam Adams built a 27% alcohol beer made to pour like a shot. A cherry, rich mahogany pour, it has no carbonation and no head. This beer/liquor is truly meant to kick you in the teeth. Watch for the Nationals to kick a few teams in the teeth this year also.

11. Atlanta Braves: Leinenkugel Red

Second to only the darn Red Sox, the Braves experienced an epic collapse at the end of last season. It was incredibly exciting to watch, maybe not for Braves fans. Luckily the Braves can chalk most of the meltdown to youth. Most of the team is extremely young and almost completely without playoff experience. Youth aside, the Braves have a complete team, full of talent, and are expected to make plenty of playoff runs. Jason Heyward and Freddie Freeman both are successful starters and have a lot of development ahead of them. Pitching looks to be the anchor of the team and Jair Jurrjens looks to build on a great year, going 13-6 and maintaining a 2.96 ERA.

It seems the Braves are finally coming into the light again, after being out of the picture for so long. They’ve made a lot of good moves picking up great talent, just like Leinenkugel Brewery has throughout the years. Leinie’s Red is a smooth, medium amber with an incredible smooth taste, just a hint of bitter (as is typical of reds). Now when I thought of writing this entire article, i imagined both Atlanta and Boston deserved extremely bitter beers, now that I’ve made it to team 11, I feel like I can’t in fairness do that. Atlanta is a great team that deserves a great beer, and any brew from Leinenkugel is a great fit.

Well baseball fans here are some real teams and some real beers. Moving on from here it’s going to be tough to pick some beers for the top ten teams I’ve got coming up, but I sure am glad I’m getting away from the Bud Ice’s and Old English’s. Haven’t seen your team on here yet? Saw your team and don’t agree? Leave a comment below and let me know what you think!


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