No, Pitchers by K*Rod

  • BelchBy Belch

Three years ago, J*Rod blessed us with his latest article, outlining a defense for A*Rod’s skills. No doubt we lost many viewers to our website, as the poorly written excuse for a terrible thought probably induced some bad cases of the “Anger-pukes.” But its three years later and I figured I would finally answer your original question. Hitters?

First off, sorry it took so long to respond to you. I didn’t realize that you were trying to write me, you probably missed my fan mail link. Hitters are great and all, but what really makes the world of baseball great, are the pitchers.

Because you’re a Rockies fan, and they have the highest team ERA in the history of baseball, I’ll attempt to explain what pitching is. In short, they throw the ball. The point of good pitching is to induce more outs that runs and hits. Look at teams like Detroit and Washington, who have gone all out to make sure their pitching is top notch. Players like Kershaw and Scherzer has really pushed Verlander out of the spotlight. I know its tough learning new names, but those might come in handy.

Hitters and their wooden sticks are still pretty cool to watch, and I applaud you for watching, but they aren’t everything. Tulo will probably strain a nail, and Cargo is playing in a body cast, so that won’t last. Maybe if you learn a few pitching names, you can use them in casual conversation when discussing how bad your team is.

“I wish we had Scherzer” or “Why couldn’t we get Kershaw” are sentences that you may be saying often.

So, to wrap up this response, if you have any particular feelings about this article, write me back. I’ll be the one posting constant articles about relevant information.

Consider the sleeping bear poked. Emphasis on sleeping.

Boom.

Author
Published
2 years ago
Categories
BelchMLB
Comments
No Comments
Social Media Integration Powered by Acurax Wordpress Theme Designers